Quiet Exit: A (Very, Very Late) Review of Champions: Killer App

written by Danny Lore

drawn by Luciano Vecchio

colored by Federico Blee

One could say Kamala Khan, the Paskistani-American superhero known as Ms. Marvel has finally arrived, given that Marvel Comics has recently revealed that they are about to subject her to a fate reserved only for the most elite of superheroes, i.e. those who get their own movies: she is destined to "die."  She's in the big leagues, it would seem. 

Sadly enough, though, one of the books she top-billed, the teen team book Champions, was canceled nearly two years ago, and had such a low-key exit that it took me nearly two years to track down its final collected edition, Killer App.

This slim volume, which collects issues #6 to #10 of the last series of Champions that Marvel published up until 2021, sees the Champions composed of Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Spider-Man (Miles Morales), Nova (Sam Alexander), Viv Vision and Ironheart (Riri Williams) once again going toe-to-toe with the evil corporation Roxxon, who has, in the Marvel universe, served for decades as the stand-in for nearly every blatantly capitalist, greed-motivated corporation that exists in the real world. This story follows up the last one in which the Champions exposed the abuses involved in implementing the Underage Superhuman Welfare Act or "Kamala's Law" which  regulated adolescent superheroes.  Roxxon's role in this abuses was also exposed, and, still reeling from this, Roxxon is seeking to rehabilitate its image with a new youth-oriented app, "Roxx-On!" while the Champions are determined to prove that Roxxon hasn't changed its ways and, more importantly, seek to have Kamala's Law repealed once and for all. To do so, they will have to do the one thing none of them had ever thought they'd do: infiltrate Roxxon.  

If I'm perfectly honest, as much as I loved the first few volumes of Champions as written by Mark Waid and drawn by teen team book specialist Humberto Ramos (whose credits include Out There and Strange Academy) I can understand why this book simply couldn't sustain its readership; there's only so much pontification that the obviously teenage target audience can take.  This book was "woke" before it was even really a thing, and while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, the reality is that it just wasn't attractive to enough readers to sustain the book.

That's really a shame, because with this volume, the book looked better than it had since Waid and Ramos left to do other things. While Danny Lore's script was serviceable and, if nothing else, an improvement over Jim Zub's so-so writing, the real highlight for me was Luciano Vecchio's anime-inspired, ultra-clean art which was evocative of both Gurihiru and Ed McGuinness. I am really glad that the New Warriors reboot this guy was scheduled to work on got canceled; the previews for characters like "Snowflake" and "Safespace" drew such widespread derision from fans of all political persuasions that it could have been truly damaging to Vecchio's career had that book seen the light of day, and this guy deserves to get all the work Marvel can think of to give him.  This guy (Vecchio) should have been the guy to illustrate Kamala's demise. That'd be worth checking out. 

7.5/10

Destined to be Undone: A Review of Daredevil #11

 written by Chip Zdarsky

drawn by Rafael de la Torre

colored by Matt Wilson

As an on-again, off-again reader of Daredevil since the 1990s, one unfortunate trend I've noticed about the character's status quo is how prone it tends to be to resetting. I know that's arguably the case for a lot of Marvel characters, but Daredevil in particular seems especially prone to reinvention.  The guy's been killed, possessed by the Hand, outed to the public, had his secret identity "reconcealed," been happy, been sad, and been subjected to the kind of editorial torment that probably only Spider-Man or Wolverine could rival.

I write this not really to complain but to kind of sigh in resignation at the thought that, yet again, we are probably headed for another hard reset of the character as Chip Zdarsky's run comes to an end in a couple of issues.

With Matt's war against the Hand having basically taken everything from him, he makes one last gambit against the Stromwyn siblings, his current foes and the folks behind the Hand, to get back everything that he cares about and believes in.  After that, he declares that he's basically done...with living.

It's a competently put-together issue, with Marco Checchetto taking yet another break, presumably because he'll be drawing the climactic battle with Elektra next issue, but I really can't help but feel how inconsequential it is because there are very few more obvious ways to declare that a status quo is destined for a reset than to declare the intent to kill the main character, which is what Zdarsky and Marvel have been doing for a while now.  

So basically, none of this really matters, which is kind of a shame because Zdarsky had something really interesting going with his commentary on how the penal system doesn't really reform criminals.  It was the kind of advocacy that could have helped energize the book more than some hackneyed, ultimate-good-vs-evil battle storyline.  

Marvel is still keeping a lid on who's replacing Zdarsky or what the inevitable new status quo will look like which doesn't really inspire confidence because usually we know months in advance who's taking over a book once a creative team ends its run. Given that Marvel has a pretty high profile Disney+ show in the pipeline for the character I hope they have a pretty good team lined up for him.

6.5/10

Love as a Time Lapse: A Review of The Amazing Spider-Man #25

"written" by Zeb Wells

penciled by Kaare Andrews and John Romita Jr.

inked by Andrews and Scott Hanna

colored by Marcio Menyz

Welcome back to the Cucktacular Spider-Man, which is basically the central theme of Marvel's flagship book nowadays.

Picking up from last month's revelation that Mary Jane Watson now regards her new partner Paul, who was only just introduced to readers less than a year ago, to be the love of her life, this issue dives a little further back into the history of how that happened. To make a long story short, while Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, was busy over the course of a few hours working out how to get back to Mary Jane while she was trapped in another dimension with the murderous, powerful Rabin, MJ, through the "magic" of "time moving differently" was bonding with Paul and falling in love with him, as well as with a couple of children whom they rescued who, suspiciously, just happened to look exactly like them.  

Peter is understandably distraught by what has just transpired, but apparently Rabin and Wayep are nowhere near done. All of this, after all, is just flashbacks; the main event is yet to come.

So, now we're all caught up, and while Peter was at least spared the ignominy of Zeb We--err PAUL impregnating his one true love, this ridiculous reverse deux-ex-machina of a time lapse, doubled with children magically appearing out of nowhere, is still some of the most cruel, below-the-belt sabotage of Peter's life that the Spider-Man brain trust have subjected him to since selling his marriage to the devil, and if I understand things correctly, there's at least one more horrific tragedy just around the corner.  In fact, if I may do the unthinkable and actually compare One More Day favorably to this monstrosity of a story, I'd like to point out that the events of that story basically sprang out of Peter's decision to sign up with Tony Stark in the superhero civil war, and to out himself to the public in the process.  Aunt May getting shot was a tragic but avoidable outcome which made it all the more affecting. Peter thought he was doing the right thing when he outed himself, but it ended up biting him and his loved ones on the ass. THAT's the essence of the infamous Parker luck. 

In this scenario, when confronted with a terrible threat, Peter did every single thing right, from not backing down from yet another life-threatening situation to doing anything and everything to get back to Mary Jane.  I detest how this story has been marketed with the tag-line "what did Peter do" as though it was somehow his fault that Mary Jane broke up with him, which is how the marketing of this story has been leaning for the better part of a year. 

What is so particularly hateful about this book is how unbelievably lazy the writing feels. Nothing about MJ's and Paul's ordeal, which lasted several years in their weird time bubble, feels like it makes any sense beyond the plot requiring it to happen. There's a limp-wristed attempt at pseudo-science to explain how they've held off life-threatening forces for something like four years, but it really doesn't make any sense. Mary Jane falls for this loser because the plot dictates that she needs to. Full stop. 

This is the payoff of a year's worth of mystery box storytelling, and it sucks. It's a shame because Wells has, in the interim, given readers some solid, memorable stories involving a whole bunch of characters of Spidey's library.  I've written elsewhere that Wells is a talented writer, albeit one with a penchant for bizarre stories, like the one in which Curt Connors, aka the Lizard, ate his son.  It's a shame to think that Marvel are literally dipping into the hate-reading well, because judging by the fact that Wells has shut down comments on his social media, that's literally what they've tapped into right now. 

It's also a shame because it's always a pleasure to see Kaare Andrews' work on something other than cover art, and I would have truly loved to have seen more of it on a Spider-Man book under far different circumstances. And no, not even my usual affection for the unspectacular but solid artwork of John Romita Jr. is enough for me to think this story is anything other than rage-baiting garbage. 

Oh, and as if to rub salt in the wound, this issue is extra-sized and extra-priced, and has a forgettable side story featuring Spider-Man and Black Cat going out on a date, written and drawn by people whose names I can't even be bothered to remember or check right now. 

3/10

You Win Some, You Lose Some: A Review of Daredevil #10

 written by Chip Zdarsky

drawn by Marco Checchetto

colored by Matt Wilson

As a longtime reader of comic books featuring Spider-Man and Daredevil, I can't help but compare the way Marvel have handled Matt Murdock to the way they have handled Peter Parker, over the better part of six decades. They have quite a bit in common, like a dead father or father figure, a blonde lover who died at the hands of their greatest nemesis, or recurring personal tragedies. Over the years, it has almost felt at times as if they were in some sort of contest to determine who had it worse in life.

Even now, Peter Parker endures some of his worst torment ever at the hands of his creative team over in his book, Matt Murdock is also going through the wringer as his ultimate war against the forces of evil has taken a serious turn for the worse. After his army, the Fist, won an important but very costly victory over his arch nemesis the Hand, he learned that his oldest friend Foggy Nelson and his mentor Stick were nothing but simulacra planted in their ranks by the Hand, and now the Avengers have caught up with him, and they're hellbent on putting the army Daredevil busted out of prison right back where he got them. Elektra and Daredevil's allies have their hands full with Captain America, Iron Man and Black Panther, while Daredevil faces off against no less than his longtime ally, Spider-Man.

To be honest, my only serious regret about this issue is that there have not been more like it in this run. After Zdarsky and Checchetto seriously impressed with their prestige format miniseries "Devil's Reign," I had high hopes that their climactic finale for Daredevil would have a similar standard of craftsmanship, but it's been a mixed bag over the course of the last ten issues, though this is certainly one of the better ones. The throw-down between Matt and Peter is well-staged, and doesn't crap on canon just for the sake of giving a good story. It is established that, for all of his training, Matt would not be a match for Peter under normal circumstances, and that's all I'll say lest I spoil the outcome.  Still, one can't help but feel there's a bit of plot armor involved, and that detracts from the smoothness of the storytelling. 

Zdarsky has promised yet more twists and turns in the remaining issues of his run, and this would pretty much be par for the course for the Man without Fear, so I just hope Zdarsky and Checchetto can end on a decent finale and leave Matt with a modicum of dignity, even if it's clear they have no intention of giving him any kind of happy ending.

 9/10

Marvel's Creative Nadir (MAJOR SPOILERS for The Amazing Spider-Man #24)

Full disclosure: I didn't grow up with Stan Lee's Spider-Man. The comics I read as a kid were written by Roger Stern, Tom DeFalco, J.M. DeMatteis and David Michelinie and were drawn by John Romita Jr., Ron Frenz, Mark Bagley and Todd McFarlane.  I encountered the occasional Stan Lee issue, but I did not read his landmark stuff until I discovered it in reprints as an adult.

Despite all that, the Spider-Man I grew up with had money problems,  school problems and work problems along with the problem of super powered lunatics constantly trying to kill him. Even though for much of the time I was reading about him, Spider-Man was happily married, his writers still managed to put him through the wringer by doing things like killing his best friend, reintroducing his long-lost parents and then revealing that they were fakes and even replacing him with a clone.  Oh, and then there was the time one of his bad guys buried him alive and ran around brutalizing people while dressed like him. 

In short, even though some of the worst things ever done to Spider-Man happened before I was born, like the death of Gwen Stacy, the love of Peter's life, I was around for plenty of the other stuff, so I know it's a proud Marvel tradition to basically torture Peter Parker.

In the 2000s, though, the torment started getting mean-spirited. In 2004, right after a really stellar run by J. Michael Straczynski and John Romita Jr., Straczynski penned the truly awful, utterly superfluous retcon "Sins Past" which intercalated in the history of the (still dead) Gwen Stacy a sexual tryst with Norman Osborn which resulted in the birth of two children.  It was an abomination, but one so skillfully embedded into Spider-Man's lore that it would be nearly two decades before it was retconned out of canon. 

But Marvel were just getting warmed up: in the nearly universally-reviled "One More Day," Marvel undid Spider-Man's marriage of 20 years (in real time, not comic book time) to Mary Jane Watson by literally selling it to the devil.  I don't think anything more needs to be said about that.

After "One More Day," though, Marvel seemed to figure out ways to make Peter's life miserable that seemed more in keeping with what had been dubbed the "Parker luck." Body-swapping with Doc Ock and then dying and coming back to life? Check. Becoming a billionaire only to lose everything? Check.  Getting hoodwinked by a supervillain roommate? Check. These stories were consistent with the notion that Peter Parker was a hard-luck character, and that his good nature has often made him vulnerable to other people doing bad things to him. 

This latest story, however, departs from that completely and has far more in common with arbitrary, idiotic decisions like the ones that spawned "Sins Past" and "One More Day."

Before the relaunch of the book in 2022, we last saw Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson getting ready to move in together, only to be interrupted by a blinding flash of light.  One relaunch and just a few months later, they are very much apart, with MJ living with a husband named Paul and...two kids?!? The inevitable question arose: surely they're her step kids, right?  After all, how could she have had kids who look anywhere between 6 and 9 years old in the course of a few months, right?  Who is this guy and how did she end up with him? And so a mystery box story was born, using the lazy, hackneyed in media res formula that is meant to shock and awe rather than earn the audience's attention the hard way: through compelling storytelling. 

Well, the mystery box is almost entirely opened. and we've learned that thanks to yet another lazy storytelling device, that of "alternate dimensions where time moves differently" the children that MJ has with Paul (who looks suspiciously like writer Zeb Wells, incidentally) are indeed HER children, whom she conceived and raised in something like ten years that passed in the alternate dimension while mere days passed back in her home dimension, where Peter was busy burning bridges with his fellow heroes just to get back to her because Wells had decided to write longtime allies like the Fantastic Four and Captain America like they were federal agents in a Die Hard movie. 

Marvel has been consistently hyping up the upcoming issue #25 of this abhorrent new status quo with the question "what did Peter Parker do?" to basically deserve to be where he is now, which is basically further away from MJ than he has ever been in their publication history. 

What did Peter do?  HE went to the wall for Mary Jane, doing anything and everything he could to get back to her, knowing she was trapped with an all-powerful, mass-murdering being. He did this only to find out that her devotion to him was nowhere near as strong as his devotion to her.

The thing is, one cannot fault Mary Jane for anything she has done either, because it was really Zeb Wells' brilliant idea that his thinly-veiled, bland-as-fuck avatar should cuck Peter.  His story feels grossly illogical as it is now premised on the notion that MJ and Paul, trapped in that other dimension without any particularly special abilities, spent ten years (or so) fighting off the all-powerful Wayep and/or his murderous, also-very-powerful disciple Rabin, only to reach the end of their rope at the exact moment when Peter showed up.  I'm sure Wells has exercised some kind of storytelling gymnastics to justify this conclusion, but in the end it all feels as nonsensical as Kathleen Kennedy's mutilation of Star Wars lore with the recent sequels. There, it didn't matter if Rey's ridiculously amped-up Jedi abilities were basically nonsensical and without any precedent; what mattered was that the Force was female.  Here, what seems to matter most is that Peter gets cucked by Zeb Wells' avatar, storytelling logic be damned.  

It is true that the idea of screwing Peter over is nothing new. Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and John Romita did it all the time as did the talented writers and artists who followed them like Gerry Conway, Ross Andru and a whole host of others.  This present-day writing by Zeb Wells, however, feels especially mean-spirited to the point of being downright cruel. It feels below the belt and quite honestly beyond the pale. It makes use of writing tools resorted to by the truly lazy to justify its conclusions. Worse still, Marvel's latest creative debacle has a tinge of intellectual dishonesty about it. I am fairly sure they knew they had a hateful, polarizing story on their hands, so rather than lead up to it naturally, Marvel wrapped it up in a mystery box, contriving a sense of urgency to finding out what really happened to keep readers interested.  It seems clear that Wells, a reasonably talented writer who never quite made his mark the way his contemporaries like Dan Slott did, decided that the best way to get the fans interested was to dial the hate all the way up to 11. 

Damn you, Marvel; it wasn't so long ago I was celebrating how you found the nerve to undo the hateful "Sins Past" storyline, and now you go and crap out something ten times more despicable. 

Parker Luck? More Like F*** You, Parker: A Review of The Amazing Spider-Man #24 (No Spoilers)

written by Zeb Wells

penciled by John Romita Jr.

inked by Scott Hanna

colored by Marcio Menyz

The mystery box behind Peter Parker's current status quo with Mary Jane, established in last year's Nth reboot of The Amazing Spider-Man, is now that much closer to being opened, with key revelations being made here.

In this issue, it is revealed what Peter Parker stole from the Fantastic Four (which was mentioned in issue #1) and why he stole it, and it is also revealed why Kamala Khan has been working with Norman Osborn and Peter Parker. Basically Peter did anything and everything he could to get back to Mary Jane, whom he had, a few issues back, left trapped in another dimension with a genocidal godlike after being forced out of that dimension. When he did make it back to her, well, something else was revealed.

I will devote a separate spoiler post to this issue, from which there is quite a bit to unpack, even before the insanely-hyped up issue #25, but in this very brief, spoiler-free review, I really want to give my two-cents' worth and it's that while I recognize that, as a matter of personal history, Peter Parker has always had terrible luck, which is another way of saying the writers, artists and editors of the last sixty years of Spider-Man stories have collaborated to make his life consistently miserable, this story direction represents a new low, even for the meanest of writers and editors. This story twist reaches One More Day levels of cruelty to this character, and while I am going to see this through to its conclusion, I am definitely not happy with what they have done.

1/10